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| Signs You Are Experiencing Emotional Violence |
Physical violence such as domestic violence and dating violence to sexual violence such as rape is easier to detect because it usually leaves visible scars. This is different from emotional violence which is sometimes taken for granted because the signs and symptoms are "not clear".
Even so, the impact of emotional violence in a romantic relationship can be far more dangerous than physical violence, you know! Moreover, his actions are often not realized by the perpetrators and even the victims.
What constitutes emotional abuse?
Emotional violence is a type of violence that includes verbal attacks or is shown indirectly through manipulative attitudes. For example belittling or demeaning, berating, threatening, intimidating, excessively possessive behavior, or even ignoring you completely.
Unlike physical violence or sexual violence, emotional violence in correlation is more subtle and sometimes confuses the victim. At first, the perpetrator can carry out various ways to make you wholeheartedly believe in him. Once his manipulation strategy succeeds in destroying your perception and confidence as the victim, then he will take action.
Signs of emotional abuse in correlation
Victims of emotional abuse generally do not realize they have been targeted because their form is invisible. But make no mistake. Even though it's not visible, the impact of emotional violence can be even more devastating. Starting from tarnishing self-esteem and self-confidence to severe PTSD trauma, stress, and suicide.
That's why it's important to detect signs of emotional abuse as early as possible in your relationship.
1. Often blame
"Just like that, how can you go wrong, anyway! I've never told you..”
“Don't be silly! I didn't mean that before!"
“You're making this up. It never happened.”
Have the sentences above been ejected from your partner's verbal? If so, chances are your partner is using a subtle manipulation tactic called gaslighting. The perpetrator will continue to insist on twisting the facts so that the victim begins to be wary of the truth of his own model.
If your partner often puts you down and twists the facts so that you seem irrational and lacking common sense, this is a red flag that you are experiencing emotional abuse.
2. Possessive
Everyone wants to be noticed by their partner. However, if this is done excessively to the point of allowing a possessive partner, then this is not good for your relationship.
"You have to tell me every day, okay?"
"Where are you? With anyone?"
"Don't go with that boy friend, I don't like it."
Because of their possessiveness, there are people who ask their partners to offer passwords for all their social media accounts. He said this was meant to deter an affair. As soon as he finds out that you are out with a friend of the opposite sex, your partner will be furious and immediately blame you.
Jealousy is normal, really, but with a note that it's still within reasonable limits. Being too possessive and jealous can actually cause your partner to be fierce to you.[next]
3. Saying hurtful words, but considered as a joke material
Nothing hurts more than when you receive negative words, especially from your own partner. For example, he often invites you with negative names like "stupid" or "ganjen" in front of your friends.
Especially if when you tell him to stop, he immediately denies or belittles you with “Ah, I'm just kidding. Don't be too sensitive, OK?"
Be careful, this bad attitude has emotionally abused you, you know.
4. You have to apologize, even though you weren't wrong
It should be remembered that emotional abusers are usually manipulative. That is, your partner intentionally belittles you, makes you helpless, and places you as the guilty party so you keep apologizing. For example, by saying something like “Are you complaining just because of something trivial? Really!
Yes, this is classified as one of emotional violence that should be watched out for. If you do realize that you have done something wrong, of course apologizing is the right step. However, if you firmly believe that you are not wrong, have proof, and these unprovoked accusations keep coming up, consider ending the relationship.
5. Your partner is always not there for you
At first, your partner will be elegant and romantic by offering flowers or your favorite items. Nothing else, this is meant to make you believe that he loves you. After you dissolve in the 'game', your partner will start to be manipulative and act aggressively verbally.
Again, he will argue that this is a form of affection for you. Unknowingly, you will start blaming yourself for making false accusations.
6. Underestimating
If every time you have a discussion or fight, he actually ends the conversation by silence or categorically refuses to listen to you so that it makes you helpless and valued, this is a signal for you to finish the relationship.
Or vice versa, if your partner constantly undermines your dignity and self-confidence. For example, you just won an essay writing contest or your boss's office project just got a goal.
Instead of congratulating and encouraging, an abusive partner will belittle you. "No wonder you won. At least the number of participants is small, right?
This of course will drop your self-esteem. In fact, the donation of a partner must mean a lot to grow your sense of self-dogma.[next]
7. Threatening
This sign of emotional abuse has been detailed. If your partner starts threatening to replace all the important things in your life, from your money to your home to even your children, this is a red flag.
The form of the threat can vary. Whether it's dangerous to leave you, reveal your secrets, and so on.
Impersonally, you will be forced to continue to depend on your partner. Instead of strengthening the relationship, this inner pressure is actually not good for your emotional health.
8. Isolate
An abusive and often emotionally abusive partner will usually distance you from your family and friends in various ways. Again, this is so that you can only depend on it.
As a result, your partner is able to act arbitrarily and emotionally abuse you more freely. The easier it is for you to be kept away from the people closest to you, the more difficult it will be for you to get out of this unhealthy relationship.