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| When to Ignore Conscience |
A wise man says, follow your heart in deciding something . Especially when you are in doubt. On the one hand, instinct, intuition, or instinct is indeed capable of sensing that something is wrong. It can help you find goodness.
But, on the other hand, there are times when intuition can be wrong and you need to ignore it. When exactly?
To Bustle, Dr. Gary Brown, a psychotherapist and sex and relationship expert, says you need to ignore your gut, especially when common sense is thwarted by fear that comes from stress, anxiety, trauma, and overthinking--including obsessions.
Dr Brown's statement corroborates a 2017 study published in Clinical Psychological Science. The study revealed that fear that arises from anxiety can make it difficult for you to hear your heart.
This is because the brain chemicals that are triggered by fear can deactivate and disguise as the conscience itself.
Furthermore, Brown suggests you ignore your conscience when you panic about the recurrence of a painful incident in the past. Even if that conscience turns out to be your inner reaction that has been under a lot of stress towards a commitment.
"If you are a person who tends to live in panic, then you may be overly prone to or have trouble interpreting your partner's motivations and actions," says Dr. Brown.
If your relationship is more emotionally deep, he continues, conscience may no longer be a sign of threat, but a jolt of nerves resulting from true vulnerability.
According to him, vulnerable people are often inaccurate and misinterpret conscience. That's why they need to ignore.
This includes people who tend to always be optimistic, or people who find that reality doesn't match what they want to feel about their partner.
Maybe, says Bethany Teachman, professor of psychology at the University of Virginia, it's a reflection of your sweet dreams running aground. It could also be, the reason you just feel strange with an opposite attitude--even though it's good--so it's not comfortable.
Also, ignore your conscience if you haven't shared it with your partner. According to Brown, sharing the confusion that stems from instinct "can help test reality."
Therefore, more important than all, Brown ensures that you should ignore your gut when your feelings and thoughts are not aligned.
In a romantic relationship, he explains, brain and heart need to go hand in hand because they are connected.
“Conscience, for everyone, is less mouthful, more silent and more textural. It goes beyond common sense, (which arises) like a feeling or a vibrating sensation,” says psychotherapist and relationship expert Jonathan Marshall. Meanwhile, our brains, he continued, are far more chatty and noisy.
Brown says it's only natural to have doubts in a long-term relationship. In fact, frequent bickering can be healthy if the goal is to find a way out in order to achieve satisfaction and happiness in the relationship.
"Every partner is different. What makes a couple unhappy is when they establish an emotional connection and are unable to feel secure or comfortable with someone," says clinical psychologist Sue Johnson, who has concluded from numerous studies that the most striking thing in large relationships power is an emotional response.
Because of this, the experts regret that many relationships have foundered and many couples have ruined good things only because they heard one heart say the other unhealthy thoughts earlier.
If you're in a situation where you have a matter of conscience, WebMD suggests asking yourself several times if what you're doing is wise enough. This can clear conscience.
However, if you are unable to distinguish between what you feel and what you think, or are unable to control the inner turmoil that arises, it is better to "Shut up and don't act," says Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist who is also a love expert.
In his study, Fisher found three important neurochemical components that people with high levels of kinship satisfaction possess. Namely the ability to practice tolerance, control feelings, and maintain an actual view of a partner.
Silence, says Fisher, can develop all three abilities as well as help create the "Actual Illusion." It's about reducing the amount of time you spend considering the negative factors of the relationship.
So, before you throw out your conscience that seems to lead you to believe that your partner has--or will--make a mistake so that you feel so angry and uncomfortable, it's good to filter first how true your conscience is.
The trick, according to Marshall, is to take walks. It can distract from what you're considering and give yourself the opportunity to arrive at some kind of logical conclusion, which is rarely achieved when you use your mind to repeat facts.
Another way can be to find a quiet place, breathe deeply, watch a movie or confide in a friend, as well as any way to get out of a crushing path.
"There are no perfect matches, and the brain is well built to remember bad things that are said," Fisher said.